Thursday, 25 May 2017


Asalaam aleikum loves, it has been absolutely ages and i have missed my blog, i missed this little community of ours. I just need to write, vent maybe or not, call it whatever, it's a life update of sorts. So i have not been blogging, fashion posts or otherwise because i have been working on turning moderne into a legit business and that has been taking up my time but aside from that i honestly do not want to pay someone to take my pictures,
blogging does not make me money at all, so i do not see the need to spend money on it, i'd like to think of that as being money smart, but i love blogging so maybe i'll buy a camera soon when i have saved up for it and then i can blog at my own convenience.
Life update, the bake awards happened, we did not win but to be nominated in itself was such a rich experience so alhamdulilah, i'll post pictures of my beautiful dress, (shoutout to VivienneTaa). I went to a couple of events, affifah,almuslimah and Mac #Artofthelip event (shoutout to miswaleh,rubina and fiona for the invite). My business is going good, alhamdulilah, i feel like it's a miracle, seriously,  A miracle to wake up every morning and have someone buy a dress or whatever it is, i don't take it for granted, it makes me feel so special that God has my back, it makes me emotional thinking about it( haha i want to cry about every thing lately, GOD!)
My job is uhm.., haha's a job, a good experience too, i finally feel like i know what i'm doing and what i'm bringing to the table in terms of my work and it feels pretty good. I hope to do better in terms of my career life in shaa Allah.
A couple of days ago i was feeling like shit, i have these times, at least once a month, where i feel sad,just sad and for no particular reason and i'm not talking about Pms, no. So last week was that 'sad time' for me and i just couldn't figure it out, normally i would cry and be done with it,because some times you just need a good cry, i keep my shit together so much, i'm allowed to fall apart once a month. But this time, i started to self-loath, like 'what's wrong with me?' 'Can't i do anything right?' Safe to say that's the lowest i have ever felt in terms of self-esteem and it sucks! I have never been the feel-sorry for yourself, sulk and seek approval type of girl, and i hated it. I don't want to feel like that ever again. Ever. It does not matter whats going on or who thinks you're not good enough but never let anything or anyone compromise your self-love.
I think happiness and depression are two opposites but both are a state of mind and being, whatever you feed your mind, is what you'll feel as well. Encourage positive vibes. Treat yourself so good and love yourself so that when other people see you, they know exactly how to do it too. It's a process, and its something you have to work on everyday but start.

Love N Light.

Outfit- @viviennetaa on i.g
Photography- @malkiaphotography on i.g

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